Suicide and the Chosen

so you wanna die

Suicide and the Chosen

To say that an Apostolic-Jesus Name-Born Again Christian never experiences suicidal thoughts is ludicrous. To presume that a God-fearing man or woman is never tempted with suicide is arrogant. The devil had the audacity to tempt the Lord Jesus with it-what makes us think we’re exempt?

“And he brought him to Jerusalem, and set him on a pinnacle of the temple and said unto him, If thou be the Son of God, cast thyself down from hence:” Luke 4:9

Nearly one million people worldwide die by suicide annually, making it one of the world’s leading causes of death. In 2002: 132,353 individuals were hospitalized following suicide attempts; 116,639 were treated in emergency departments and released (CDC 2004).

Suicide is the eighth leading cause of death for all American men. That’s because they usually succeed. In fact, men are four times more likely than women to successfully commit suicide. However, women attempt suicide three times more often than men.

Years ago, I went through a trial that almost destroyed me. For many months, I suffered from a thick black, suffocating depression. It hung over me like a wet wool cloak: surrounding me with the heaviness of confusion and hopelessness.

During those months, shame took up residence in my spirit. Then, I built a wall of shame around my shame. I didn’t dare let anyone know what was going on inside of me. And, God forbid that my Pastor would find out what a loser-saint I had become!

Wasn’t I filled with the Holy Ghost? Wasn’t I supposed to have “joy unspeakable”? The shame and despair I felt were magnified by the fact that I didn’t have the faith to be healed of this depression.

I was weak and sinful.
Worthless.
Faithless.
Useless.

One day, while praying, I sincerely asked the Lord to take me home. I was ready to be done, forever. Convinced that my family and church would be better off without me; I begged God to rid this world of my presence. What good was I, anyway? Jesus had to see it! He had to be as disgusted with me as I was.

I waited.
And waited.
Death never came.
Healing did.

“The LORD thy God in the midst of thee is mighty; he will save…” Zephaniah 3:17

Jesus stepped into the depths of my soul and led me to Him. My desperation for death turned into desperation for Christ. It was His way of taking me out of “this world”. Jesus took me toward life and into the midst of peace. He awakened me with a vivid comprehension of his own pain and despair. The Lord swaddled me in His keen understanding of my sorrow.

“For we have not a high priest which cannot be touched with a feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin.” Hebrews 4:15

By denying the existence of the temptation of suicide, we deny ourselves and others the hope of repentance and redemption. In this, we raise ourselves above Jesus Christ. We make ourselves higher than Him; and just who does that sound like?

Suicide can be masked as the desire to “be taken” by the Lord. Throughout the years, I’ve found that Christian’s don’t show suicidal ideation through direct remarks like, “I want to kill myself.” or “I’m going to kill myself.”

Most don’t recognize or acknowledge that it’s possible to consider death as an option. However, the temptation of suicide is very real, very subtle and the remarks are quietly inferred.

“I can’t wait for the Lord to take me home.”

“What good am I to the Lord?”

“Why does the Lord allow me to go on?”

These are trigger statements that should be immediately addressed with love and kindness. Don’t minimize problems or try to convince a person “that things could be worse”. It’s cruel.

DO ask the following questions:

“Are you feeling so badly that you’re thinking of suicide?”

“Do you have a plan?”

“When would you do it?”

“When do you think you’ll die?”

“What will you do? How will it happen?”

If you are feeling suicidal, trust someone. Talk to them. Seek help. Run toward God! Don’t be afraid to lay it on the line with Him. You are His chosen child. There is no one like you anywhere in the universe!

“Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you, and ordained you…” John 15:16

If you know someone who is showing signs of suicide, address it, immediately. Initiate a dialog with an attitude of unconditional love and acceptance. Help them turn their eyes toward Christ and away from themselves!

Be brave and address the ISSUE.
Be your brothers’ (or sisters’) keeper.

“Lord, you see every heart. You’ve felt every pain. Allow us to minister to one another in grace and love. Let us be sensitive to the needs of our family. For those struggling with depression and despair, give them courage, Lord Jesus, to seek help. Restore them unto you and lift them above the circumstance in their lives. Thank you for knowing and loving us exactly where we are. Bless the name of Jesus. Amen”

About the author

Christine Carney

I am first generation Pentecost. Baptized in Jesus�۪ name and filled with the Holy Ghost on June 5, 1987 at 10:10pm! I'm a wife, mom, nurse, massage practitioner and above all: a Christian. I'm actively involved with my church in helps of hospitality and service. I attend the awesome and on-fire Galloway Apostolic Church in Galloway, Ohio, Pastor Glenn Palmer.