I Don’t Believe in Me

I Don’t Believe in Me


“Yes, we had the sentence of death in ourselves, that we should not trust in ourselves but in God who raises the dead, who delivered us from so great a death, and does deliver us; in whom we trust that He will still deliver us,” 2 Cor. 1:9-10

“Some trust in chariots, and some in horses;
But we will remember the name of the Lord our God.” Psalm 20:7

“Then Jesus cried out and said, “He who believes in Me, believes not in Me but in Him who sent Me.” John 12:44

“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Phil. 4:1

For what seemed like the umpteenth time, the Spirit of God spoke to my heart that I needed to keep going forward. To not be stopped. To not let anything or anyone keep me from pressing on. Specifically, to keep writing and publishing Gospel tracts, devotionals, and books – along with my usual streets ministry work of course as I come up on two years of being on the road full-time for Him and ministry with 5 special needs doggies along for the ride.

But who was the Lord kidding? The challenges to my writing life weren’t decreasing in the least. They were increasing – almost by the day it seemed! Who in his or her right mind would keep going forward with those kind of challenges? What kind of fool? Who could be that crazy?

That’s when it dawned on me. That I don’t believe in me. And that I don’t believe I can succeed. In anything. You know how our world teaches us that we should believe in ourselves? And believe that we can do anything and everything? That we should chase after our dreams? That we should trust in ourselves? That we should believe we can do whatever we set our minds to? And so on? How could I keep moving ahead in my ministry work without believing in me? And in what I could accomplish in my strength?

Oh, what a thrill! Oh, what a delight! I couldn’t have been more excited to realize how far I’d come. How far the Lord had brought me! To a time in my life in which I have no trust in me! No faith in me! No belief in me! No belief in my dreams! No belief that I can get stuff done on my own! Oh, hallelujah! How so, you may wonder. Right? Here’s what I mean.

My faith is in the Lord Jesus Christ, not me. My trust is in Him, not me. I believe in His will, not mine. I want His dreams to come to pass, not mine. I know that I can do anything not in my strength, but IN HIS STRENGTH, THROUGH CHRIST!

I want to live according to His ways, not mine. I don’t trust the world’s ways. I trust His. I don’t trust the world. I trust the Word. And that’s exactly how I knew I would keep going forward, keep learning how to walk by faith, keep learning to walk with the Lord. Because I knew, and know, He will lead me, guide me, and provide for me. I no longer live for me. I live for Him. And through Him!

And all of this is in fact foolish and crazy in the world’s eyes. But an everlasting relationship with Jesus isn’t about self. It’s not about the world. It’s not about the devil. It’s about Jesus! And the Bible teaches us to BELIEVE IN JESUS! To LOVE JESUS! To SERVE JESUS! To OBEY JESUS! To FOLLOW JESUS! To TRUST IN JESUS!

My friend, worldly success may come in trusting in self and the world’s ways. But worldly success is temporary for so is the world. Eternity is forever. Jesus is forever. His ways are forever. And it is in the Lord we are to believe! And it for the Lord we are to live! And it is by faith in Him we are to go forward – no matter the challenges along the way!

If you believe in yourself, it’s time to change direction. Believe in the Lord Jesus Christ. And follow Him! Forward! AMEN!


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