Every Year as Mother’s Day roles around I get very sentimental, and emotional. Twenty-six years ago, I was told that I had a female condition, that required immediate surgery, that was life threatening.
Being only nineteen years old and not understanding the enormity of my situation, I was a little taken back. When the doctor looked at me and told me, I would never have children, my mind just could not wrap itself around the thought. I had planned my whole life to be a mother, I had prepared for motherhood by learning from my momma, carefully taking care of all my baby dolls, dreaming of the day, I would hold my sweet little babies in my arms.
My preoccupation with babies was putting a strain on my relationship. He had a child from a previous marriage and yet that deep eternal tick tock in my biological clock, was telling me, if I did not try for a baby now I would never have one. I cannot explain the ache that was in my heart, or how empty my arms felt. A few weeks later I was prepped for surgery, and I went in, asking God to be with me. I awoke to terrible pain, and had a side effect of anesthesia where the medical gas was traveling through my body causing extreme pain. I was extremely sick, barely able to walk, and went every two weeks for check ups, then it went to two months then to six months then to yearly check ups.
God gave me a miracle and he healed my body. Yet my womb ached for the baby I would never have, and every time I saw a baby, or I walked past one I often wondered what might have been. I lavished a lot of attention on my beautiful niece, and that sweet baby gave me solace, sometimes you do not miss something until you are told you cannot have it, and then you feel an unexplainable loss.
One day as I was holding my tiny little niece, I felt tears running down my face, and instead of asking God, why, I began to pray.
Jesus, if you can hear me now, I want you to know I love you, and if you do not answer this prayer, that will be ok, but I figured it was worth a try, Lord will you please just give me one Baby Girl, who will love her Daddy unconditionally, that will have his curly red hair, my pretty blue eyes, and his freckles, my complexion, and even his crooked pinky finger. God I promise I will love her and protect her and be the best Mother possible. Please God, give me just one child. Amen. The tears were pouring and I was almost hyperventilating and I let go and trusted God.
Two years after my surgery and treatment, then after saying my prayer; God answered my prayer! I was pregnant!!!! I had my miracle. Then Thirty-Six weeks later against insurmountable odds I went into labor, due to premature membrane rupture, had to have an emergency C-Section, and as they rolled me into the operating room, the doc told me it was touch and go for me and the baby, due to dropping heart rates, I remember looking at that Doctor, and I made him promise, that he would do everything possible to save my baby, that she came first. Then my “Beautiful” baby entered this world. And guess what she had curly red hair, big blue eyes, and later she would have freckles, and she grew to love her daddy unconditionally. And yes, she inherited his crooked little pinky fingers on both hands. I had my second miracle.
So if any of you are struggling, and having difficulties, trying to become pregnant, I want to encourage you, and let you to know, that God did it for me, and what he does for one he does for another. Put your trust in God and if it is his will, it shall come to pass. Lifting up all soon to be mommies, to God, and praising him for the miracles of these forthcoming babies, in Jesus Name.
