Lord,
I looked around, and I had to look at myself, as I noticed many a familiar face is missing from the pews of your house. I too was absent from your house for quite some time and was in the wilderness, I was stubborn, and some of my old ways haunted me and overtook me. I was angry Lord because I believed your people did not love me, in fact, I believed they rejected me, I believed, that even though you had washed my sins white as snow when my brother and sisters looked at me, I believed all they saw was me covered in filth. I believed the more I tried to become a part of your house, that someone standing on the other side, slammed doors in my face. I was on the outside looking in, and my heart’s desire was to be a part of the church within the church.
In the wilderness, I could not see, my backslidden ways, I was alone, and when I cried out you were there, I began to repent and you ran to me. You suddenly began to work in my life, you held me, you ministered to me, and you wiped away my tears.
Father, I went too far, look at the mess I have created, and that is when I learned of your mercy and compassion, and as you wiped my tears, you wiped my sins clean, once more. You took my exhausted mind and body and you gave me rest in the sanctuary of your arms. You told me – Peace, be still. I prayed Psalms 91 and you covered me. The darkness began to fade, and little by little I began to feel your presence. I was not alone, My Lord and Savior was with me.
Daily, little by little, you began to mold me, and shape me into the woman you wanted me to be……..I felt so undeserving. I fell several times, and I would confess to you, my shortcomings and I would try again. I learned of forgiveness.
Then you took me to a place that was hidden, I did not want to look, I was scared. In my fear, you gave me courage and strength. I pulled back the hidden. Layer by layer, I have peeled back and searched and repented. You showed me what I could not see. When all had been uncovered, I submitted it all to you at the foot of the cross.
You placed saints in my path, which ministered to me, who loved me unconditionally.
Daily I was encouraged by an angel, who stood in the gap for me, she got down in the mud, to pull me up out of the pit. It did not matter what man said, she was on a mission, and she was obedient to her father in Heaven. She showered me with prayer, encouragement, she surprised me with gifts, she told me daily I was “Beautiful”, and that I was Loved by my father in heaven.
I felt you calling me, and I desired to return to you, I went back to the place where it all began, and that night I sang “ take me back to where I first knew thee” as the first lady, poured out her heart, and I felt my soul leap and identify. My prayer was “God take me back to where I first knew thee” and you spoke to me, and I to the best of my knowledge I was obedient, and I came home to the house you had called me too.
Then I went into a storm, and the wind blows, and accusations fly, and I was told there was no pew for me, in the house of God, not once but twice, and my heart broke, I wanted to run, I wanted to hide, I was sick, and I realized I could either fall or I could stand, for God says if I brought you to it, I will bring you through it. God gave me the ability to speak to my sickness, I sought prayer, and when the devil lied to me and said “no one would pray with me, I felt a hand, and a voice cries out into the storm, and my body healed. I decided if there was no pew, the floor would suffice, I was not leaving. I turned away from the accusations, as there was no truth.
Then someone very close to me hurt me very deeply, that day God surrounded me with friends and family to help me through my heart ache. My friend, I still Love you, and in time, I believe the wounds will close.
Backslider, I have written this to let you know, that what God is doing for me, he will do for you, Jesus Loves you, and is searching for you, his desire is for you to return, to his house. “Return, ye backsliding children, and I will heal your backslidings…” Jeremiah 3:22. God loves the backslider and promises to receive those who return with repentant hearts. His desire is always for restoration. Never doubt, Jesus will leave the flock, to come find you. His love for you is like that of the prodigal son when you return, he will run to you, with pure joy. What a most welcomed homecoming. So my fellow Backslider, take your sin, and bring it to God, lay it at his feet and repent, and you will be healed. For it is his word and his promise.
So in closing, I pray, God, cover my brothers and sisters who are in the wilderness tonight, protect them spiritually, physically, mentally and emotionally. As the enemy comes in like a flood, I pray you raise up a standard and defeat the enemy, I pray God for repentance, for a coming back, for restoration for the saints who have lost their way.
Place saints around them that can minister to them and help them on their way, allow these saints to see the spiritual needs of their brothers and sisters, accomplishing what is within their means and leaving the rest up to you in the supernatural. I pray that saints will reach down with the right hand of God and pull the brethren brother and sister up out of the pit, for they are your child and we are to love them. For your greatest command is “To Love one another”.
Saints please come home “We Love you!” And we miss you!
In Jesus Name. Amen!
