When storms rage, it is often my experience, that they are very hard to figure out, comparing to events that are really going on with your life. I have written about my storms, being in a boat tossed about holding onto my life jacket, going through betrayal, suffering, sickness, losing relationships, being shunned, talked about, rejected, until everything and everyone was gone. I lost all materialistic belongings. Then I lost all personal relationships. I just held on to Jesus, sometimes really hard, and other times, I barely held on, because I was weak and weary of the fight.
YET, Jesus did not let go of me, Jesus walked me through the rain, he never left my side, showing me my very own steps to take, showing me how to be obedient, how to walk the walk of faith, the hardest lesson was letting go of the opinions of others, as it only matters what God thinks. Turning me spiritually around, God taught me how to forgive the very ones who almost destroyed me, teaching me true forgiveness, which allowed me to forgive, to let go and be set free.
All these years, I have wondered, yet never asked…………….why?
I can tell you this much, on a cold day in November 2003, I was filled with the Holy Ghost, and seven days later Baptized in Jesus name. I was so on fire for God, my own mama could not shut me up. I was like a 220 light bulb that did not diminish. I told everyone, about Jesus and what he had done for me, and that he could do it for them.
Then came the first storm, the second storm, the third storm, and they kept coming, it was relentless.
Ten years of storms, and yes, my 220 light bulb diminished, yet I never stopped telling people about Jesus Christ. My Pastor and First Lady taught me about being prayed up and keeping your eyes on Jesus. There were times I had no way to church, and I was desperate to be fed the word of God, needing some of Jesus’ Living Water if I could get to the water, I knew I would be ok. Despite all my trails, my voice worked and I still spoke about my testimony every chance I could to ears that needed to know God loved them.
The other morning I cried out to God, I had been in my new location for several months, and still felt no direction on where to go to church, “Help me, Jesus, find a church of truth. I do not know where to go.” That same day at three different times, my two granddaughters and daughter, all stated they wanted to visit the exact same church. We visited Sunday, and the praise team was playing “Rivers of Living Water”, the pastor preached “Act 2:38” and it was a sermon which felt geared to us and our circumstances. After my experience of being filled with the Holy Spirit, I had written a poem about the Rivers of Living Water, it was my first writing. This felt like another confirmation to me of the workings of the Holy Spirit. I had spoken of Acts 2:38 for six years to my son in law, it was his first sermon hearing it preached. This was my third confirmation. Then tonight we went back, for evening service, and the pastor preached about Paul after the shipwreck, and how the island folks, greeted them and started a fire, but in order to keep the fire going, Paul had to get up and go get sticks to fuel the fire. Spiritually, when we get the Holy Ghost, it is a gift from God, and it is up to us to keep the fire inside us going, which we do through fellowship and prayer.
Despite my times of weariness, I had kept God’s word in me, I talked to him, I trusted him, and I waited on him, to move in my life. It is good to wait on the Lord.
Now I understand my journey a little better. God put a lamp inside of me, that was brilliant, and it is up to me to keep it burning by living for God, being in his word, fellowship and showing love to humanity spreading the gospel of Jesus Christ. The enemy was trying to destroy me and take away the Holy Ghost fire in me, by snuffing out my light, with one storm after another. Tonight, I draw a line in the sand, completely around me and my family, and I give God all the praise and glory, for he never left me, nor did he ever forsake me, and I claim in Jesus name that my little light is going to shine, Satan you have no authority over me, and I rebuke you in Jesus name once and for all!
So, I challenge you, if your Holy Ghost light has diminished, if your light is flickering, do like the pastor said, and draw a line around you , and give God the glory, praise him for it all, good and bad, endeavor in prayer and fellowship, and let your little light glow once more!!!!
Blessings!
